Pete arrived at his first economics class of the semester. As he moved inside the classroom, as usual, many people turned their heads in his direction. Some gave him a quick glance while others lingered with their stare.
He scanned the room and just like on every one of his classes, there was a small table beside the first row of seats in the classroom, which the university provided specifically for him to park his wheelchair. Wheeling towards the table, he noticed a girl sitting right beside it.
She had tan skin and long straight shiny black hair. She was wearing a very short blue dress that allowed him to see most of her long full tan legs. She was beautiful in an exotic way and her legs were extremely sexy. Pete had always been drawn to a woman’s legs, even before he lost the use of his own.
She turned to look his way and seemed surprised to see him there. He said hi and she did the same with a little nervous smile. Before he could say anything else, the professor came walking in and started the lecture.
The professor was a middle-aged man that seemed very passionate about his lecture, expressing himself through his face and hands, constantly pacing around the room. Unfortunately for Pete, and every other student sitting in the front row, when the professor spoke he would often spit, sometimes sprinkling the audience with saliva.
Every now and then, Pete would glance at his pretty neighbor, watching her expression change from surprise, to disgust, to anger, to amusement.
Once the lecture finished, Pete leaned towards her and said with a low voice “I think I won’t be taking a shower before coming next time, I might save some water.”
She looked at him with surprised but amused expression and erupted in a loud laughter.
The professor, who hadn’t left the classroom yet, turned to look at them with dagger eyes, letting them know he was not impressed by their behavior. She tried to compose herself, but continued laughing, now a slightly softer laugh.
Once the professor left the classroom, she brought her index fingers to her eyes, and made a wiping motion, mimicking a car’s windshield wiper. She even made a wush-wush sound with her mouth.
Now it was Pete’s turn to crack up. He couldn’t believe that this beautiful, graceful girl could actually be a dorky clown that could make him laugh like that. It was refreshing.
At last, they were finally able to stop laughing. “Next class I’ll be taking a shower at home, I prefer water for that, but I’ll be here early to get one of the seats in the back.” She said, glancing at the seats on the back of the classroom.
Pete made a pout, “You wouldn’t leave me here all alone to enjoy the sprinkling fountain by myself, would you?”
She surprised him when she answered, “I think you’re on your own, sir. I can’t go through that again.”
Usually people got uncomfortable when he played the cripple card and gave in. But not this girl, she just kept coming up with a new comeback every time.
“Lady, you have no compassion!”
She stroked her hair with a mock worried expression, “No compassion? It takes me about an hour to get my hair this straight, I can’t risk it with all this humidity!”
“Come on! I´ll bring you goggles.” He said, looking up at her and smiling mischievously.
Sighing deeply with a resigned look on her face, “Fine! I´ll bring a hat.”
Next class, Jessica arrived a little early, not looking for a seat far away from professor “Spitsalot”. She came early, hoping to find a free seat beside the handsome, funny, wheeler from last time.
Jessica had been pleasantly surprised when, on her previous economics class, she spotted in the corner of her eye, the cute guy in a wheelchair parking right next to her. He really caught her off guard, why hadn’t she noticed him a mile away?
Thankfully, he had smiled at her and said hi. She had greeted him in return and that gave her green light to admire his features in more detail. His thick eyelashes framed his emerald blue eyes. He had short dark hair that made his skin seem even paler than it really was. He wore a cute smile on sexy full lips. He was very thin, some people would say scrawny, especially his arms. His torso was curved, as if sitting upright was difficult. Overall, his appearance was oddly close to what she considered attractive in a man. Then he had spoken, and had proven to be as charming as attractive.
To Jessica’s delight, today he was already there. Had he come early to see her too? She was a little bit excited from the possibility that that was the case.
As she sat next to him, he looked at her with a huge grin. “See you came prepared,” he said, gesturing towards the pink beanie she was wearing.
Jessica chuckled, “I sure did. Now I just need a pair of goggles that someone promised would bring for me.”
“Wait and see.” He lifted his hand, in a gesture for her to wait, but it came out looking crooked.
He placed his left arm on the backrest of his chair, probably to keep himself from falling down when he grabbed his backpack, which was laying on the floor. She noticed that he used his teeth to open the zipper and with the palms of his hands, he pulled out a box that had a picture of swimming goggles, and handed it to Jessica. He seemed to have some trouble moving his fingers, which looked slightly curved, making a sort of soft fist.
“Wow! You actually brought them, I can’t believe it!” Jessica laughed surprised, as she took the box from him.
“I’m a man of my word.” He said with a proud smile.
While Jessica opened the box, he said excited, “They’re blue, I figured you’d like that color since you were wearing it last class.”
“I do! That’s very thoughtful,” she said in a truly grateful tone. “Thanks, um…”
“It’s Peter, Pete”
“Thanks Pete, I’m Jessica.”
A silent agreement was made. From then on, every time they had that class, both of them came ten or fifteen minutes early to talk a bit before it started. Jessica always sat next to Pete, glad that professor Spitsalot’s little sprinkling fountain, made everyone run away from the front seats like it was the plague.
Initially Pete would make Jessica nervous, it wasn’t because of his disability. Okay, it sort of was, but for a totally different reason than people might think. His disability made her excited and very attracted to him, which in turn, meant that she would get nervous and act like a klutz.
When it came to flirting, she didn’t know how to act or let him know how she felt. She tried to flirt. Oh yeah, she tried, but it didn’t seem to be working. Or maybe she was too subtle? Or, maybe Pete didn’t like her that way. Anyway, Pete just didn’t seem to be aware of her attraction for him, and she wasn’t the type of girl to make the first move.
Over a month had passed, and they were still on square one. Nothing more than pleasant conversation where they would discuss all sorts of topics like economics, family, hobbies, movies, traveling, music and anything they could come up with. Professor “Spistsalot” came up in the conversation often; she even had revealed her special nickname for him, which resulted in a laughing fit all over again. Pete had a great sense of humor; he always had something to talk about and carried a beautiful charming smile all the time. It was as if he was perpetually happy.
Jessica wasn’t as nervous anymore. She still felt a little tingling in her stomach when she saw him but talking to Pete was so easy and pleasant that she now felt more comfortable around him.
She was definitely developing a huge crush on him, and that was making her extremely frustrated. They never had hinted of getting together somewhere else. They hadn’t even exchanged phone numbers! At this pace, nothing was going to happen if she didn’t take the first step.
She had to do something. Even if Pete didn’t like her like that, and she ended up making a fool of herself.
While they were putting their stuff away after class, Jessica looked at Pete with hopeful eyes. “Pete?”
She hesitated for a moment, still insecure. “Uh, my roommate’s birthday is on Friday, and we’re having a party at our place. Would you like to come?”
“Um, sure.” Pete answered with a subtle frown that expressed uncertainty more than annoyance. Grabbing the rim of his wheels, he said, “I’d like to come, but, is it accessible?”
“Oh yes, of course, the building has a ramp and elevators. The apartment is a little small but I think you’ll be okay.”
“Okay, cool, I’ll be there,” he said with a relieved smile, “Just give me the time and address.”
“Why don’t you give me your cell phone number and I´ll send you a message with all the info.”
And just like that. At last, she had his phone number! She would see him in a different place. She would be able to actually spend some time with him. Mental fist pump. Yay!
To say Pete was nervous was an understatement. He was terrified of meeting her in a place where he could act on his feelings. He liked Jessica so much that her rejection would be too painful. She was so hot, and sexy, and sweet, and funny, and…God, those legs! Hopefully she would wear a dress tonight. A very short dress if he was lucky.
As much as Pete liked to think of Jessica’s legs, he couldn’t help wandering to other thoughts, the ones that made him self-conscious and screwed up his confidence. He wondered why Jessica had invited him to the party. She had looked doubtful when she’d asked him to come. But if she didn’t want him to go, then why had she asked? He felt that Jessica genuinely liked him, but he couldn’t be sure if it was the same way he liked her. Could it be? Sometimes it seemed like she was flirting with him. But again, why? Was he really such a bad catch? Maybe she did like him.
The bottom line was, if Jessica felt about him a fraction of the way he felt about her, he would tell Leonardo DiCaprio to step the fuck off that prow, because Pete would be the new king of the fucking world.
Now, sitting in front of Jessica’s door really convinced to make a move tonight, he took a deep breath and wheeled right into her apartment searching for her. There were a lot of people in that tiny apartment. Most of them gave him curious looks but some payed no attention to him. He asked some random guy about Jessica’s whereabouts and he pointed in the direction of the most beautiful girl in the room.
As if knowing he was looking at her, Jessica turned his way and waved. She walked towards him and gave him a hug and a quick peck on the cheek. “I almost thought you weren’t coming!”
“I´m sorry, I had to stop by professor Field´s office and got delayed. I should have called you.”
Pete wasn’t really late because of professor Fields, but he wasn’t about to tell her that when he left the professor’s office, he still had to get home, take a shower, and get dressed, in order to look his best for Jessica, or as good as he could look these days anyway. However, with his useless legs and limited use of his hands, it took a very long time to accomplish that.
“Oh no, don’t worry about it. So, what do you want to drink?”
“What do you have?”
“Well, I can tell you this, there’s no food in this place, but we have pretty much any kind of alcohol there is.”
“So, I guess you have beer?”
“Sure.” She grabbed two beers from the fridge, opened them, gave one to Pete and took a swig of hers.
He watched her amazed of how hot she looked doing something so mundane as drinking her beer. Then reminded himself not to drink to many of those. He didn’t want his bladder developing a mind of its own and ruin the party.
They talked for a while, and then, being one of the hosts of the party, she had to attend to other matters leaving Pete alone.
After trying to mingle with Jessica’s friends for a while, with no one taking any interest in him. He started looking for her again. He came here with a purpose and he would have to man up and work on it.
He spotted her talking to two girls. He made his way through the crowd, excusing himself and asking people politely to get out of his way. Moving through a small crowded place was not easy.
At last, he approached the three girls. “Hi.”
“Oh Pete, sorry I left you for so long, I had to go buy some stuff at the store.” Jessica said apologetically.
“That´s okay.” He said dismissing her apology and looking at her with a loving gaze that probably made him look stupid like a dead goat.
“Where are my manners? These are my roommates, Lucy, the birthday girl, and Faith.” She signaled with her hands towards both girls, and then placed her hand softly on his shoulder. Was she flirting?
“Hi, nice to meet you and, Happy birthday!” Pete said in a lively tone.
“Thank you!” Smiling nervously, Lucy extended her hand to shake his and he lifted his own unable to fully extend his fingers to make a firm grip, so she awkwardly ended up grabbing his wrist instead of his hand.
After a few minutes of awkward silence, Lucy and Faith found an excuse to leave. Never had Pete been so glad to make people uncomfortable.
Pete took Jessica´s hand in both of his, “Do you want to dance?”
She nodded and started dancing moving her hips sensually to the rhythm of the music playing in the background. Pete’s jaw dropped, he could barely dance as it was, but now he was as stiff as a stick. Jessica was wearing a short dress, just as he had hoped. If she was hot just being good old Jessica, right now, moving her hips like that, she was going to make him explode.
It wasn’t too long before Pete reached for her hand again and softly pulled her towards him. She sat on his lap and wrapped her arms around his neck. He placed his around her waist in a tight embrace.
Jessica lowered her nose to his neck and sucked a deep breath of his soft aroma, a mixture of perfume and Pete´s own scent. A gentle scent that she had been able to notice when she would sit next to him in class, but now invaded her senses massively to the point of arousal.
She raised her head and looked at his sparkling blue eyes and smiled moving her gaze to his mouth. Those plump lips were so tempting that she couldn’t help herself, she started kissing him, softly sucking and nibbling his lips. Still with his arms around her waist, Pete pulled her tightly closer to him and kissed her back with passion, pushing his tongue inside her mouth, which she willingly allowed.
Almost unable to breathe, Jessica stopped for air and realized that they were putting on quite the show for everyone to see.
“Do you want to go to my room?” Jessica asked in a whisper close to Pete’s ear.
He nodded. “Do you want a ride?”
She nodded chuckling.
He wheeled both of them through the corridor that he assumed lead to her room. When he stopped at the end of the corridor, she stood up and opened one of the doors, gesturing for him to enter. Seconds after locking the door behind her, she took the hem of her dress and swiftly pulled it over her head.
There she was, standing in front of the man she so much desired only wearing a cute cotton black and pink matching bra and thong. She could see the desire and longing in Pete’s eyes. Now she had no doubts, he wanted her.
Straddling him, she started kissing him again, now even more passionate, if that was even possible. Pete was caressing the skin of her back and neck with his calloused rugged hands, and somehow, that was even more arousing.
She noticed that he was trying to pull down her bra with his thumbs, so she took it all the way off and placed one of her nipples in his mouth. He was eager to start licking, sucking and nibbling each one, making Jessica shudder, while gripping and pulling his hair gently.
Jessica wanted to feel his skin pressed against hers so she started to unbutton his shirt. He froze. She looked at him with reassuring eyes and lowered her mouth to his ear “Pete, I want you so much, you have no idea.” He looked back at her with bright eyes and a soft smile slightly nodding.
Now that his shirt was off, she could fondle him and admire his wonderful chest and arms. Other women might think his body was unattractive. But not her, his body was perfection. Pete was perfect.
Still kissing him over his neck and chest, Jessica unbuckled his belt and unbuttoned his jeans. Realizing what she was doing, he stiffened again. She looked at him with the same reassuring expression, but he pushed her hands away.
“Jessica, I can´t.”
“I thought we could move to the bed.” She answered standing up and bringing her hands back to his jeans.
“I really can’t, but we can still do other things.” Grinning while wiggling his eyebrows, he nodded towards the bed. “Sit there.”
She sat on the edge of the bed, and Pete wheeled closer to her. He softly pushed her so she was now laying on her back. “Lift your feet babe.” She obliged. With his arms inside her inner thighs, he parted her legs. Then he placed his elbows on the bed for support and brought his face down to her crotch.
Just like he did on her breasts, he licked and sucked her clit and made small circles with his tongue. Jessica was so aroused that few minutes were enough to get her close to climax.
“Oh Pete!” She had to hold back not to scream.
If she hadn’t said anything, the obvious pleasure plastered over her face and body alone, would have been enough sign that he needed to seal the deal. He started licking, circling her clit harder and faster until she exploded in an intense orgasm.
Feeling drained, Jessica´s limp body laid on the bed for a few moments while Pete kissed her thighs and legs.
Once she had enough will to get up, she moved from the bed to Pete’s lap, and whispered in his ear. “That was amazing.” Sighing deeply she added, “I want you to stay with me tonight. We don’t need to go further. Just stay.” She smiled with pleading eyes.
“Jess,” he barely looked at her and quickly lowered his eyes, “I would love to stay, but I can´t. I didn’t come prepared.”
“I understand.” She looked disappointed.
Jessica knew what he meant by “not prepared “. She knew that perhaps he needed help getting in and out of his wheelchair, that he probably needed help getting dressed, she was almost certain that he needed to catheterize himself in order to relieve his bladder. Still, she had some hope that they could forget about all that and just cuddle on her bed all night.
The fact that she knew many things about Pete´s injury and how he did everyday tasks, seemed odd, even to her. She had spent many hours researching on Internet about spinal cord injury but not only because of Pete. Ever since she could remember, she had a “special interest” in this particular injury and men who had suffered it. To tell him about it seemed like the right thing to do, but she was scared nonetheless of how he would take it.
“Pete, I have to tell you something.” She said, sounding very insecure, her pulse rising and her hands sweaty.
He looked at her expectantly waiting for her to continue.
“I … I´m a devotee.”
Pete just stared at her, not saying a word.
Figuring he didn’t know what she was talking about, Jessica started talking again, “If you don’t know what it means…”
“I know what it means.” He interrupted her before she could finish, his voice sounding a bit harsh. “I was wondering why the hell a pretty girl like you was so into me. That explains it.”
“Pete, you don’t understand…” her voice was trembling as if she was about to cry.
“I do, Jessica. I get it. You like the fact that I’m in a wheelchair, that I can’t walk, that every little thing is a struggle.” His tone angrier and his face flushed.
“No Pete, it’s not like that,” now tears were running down her face. “Let me explain.”
“I´m leaving.” Now his face showed only sadness and disappointment. He grabbed his shirt from the bed, without putting it on, and left Jessica´s room.
Pete was shirtless, his belt was open and his jeans unbuttoned. He could not go back semi naked with all those people in the living room. He moved quickly to the bathroom. When he tried to enter the small room, his chair did not fit. Fuck, fuck, fuck! Of all times. He did not want to go back to Jessica’s room so he tried to open the other rooms but found them locked.
Reluctantly, he went back to Jessica’s room and knocked. When he didn’t hear an answer, he slowly opened the door and peered inside. She was lying on her bed obviously sobbing. She turned his way and he could see that her face had gotten puffy from crying.
“Pete?” she said with slight excitement in her voice.
Pete felt bad to see her crying like that, but he really wasn’t ready to talk to her. He didn´t know if he would ever be.
“I´m sorry to bother you Jessica, but I can’t leave like this.” He told her gesturing to his bare chest. “As you may know, it takes some time to…” He trailed off, not wanting to bring more attention on his limitations.
“Um, okay. You can dress here, I´ll leave you alone.” She stood up from the bed, walked to him and gave him a gentle hug that he did not return. Then left the room like she had promised.
Pete was angry. No. Pissed! It had been a while since he was this angry. When he was first injured, all he felt was anger. He didn’t use to be like that, quite the opposite. He used to be a happy-go-lucky kind of guy. However, after his injury, with his legs and hands out of the picture for good, trying to adapt to a new body that did not cooperate was extremely frustrating. It had taken him a lot of physical therapy and practice to learn to do most thing again and many hours of psychological counseling to finally accept his disability and move on.
This felt like a setback. That confession was a blow to his ego. He had finally decided to give romance a shot again, and Jessica was a big influence in that decision. She had treated him like she really cared about him, and not only like a friend but like a man. Now that he knew why she was interested, he felt sick and sad that normal women would not find him attractive.
It was 12 pm on Saturday and Jessica was still laying on her bed. Eyes wide open just staring at the ceiling thinking of what had happened last night.
Pete knew about devotees, and he clearly was not fond of them. However, if she had never disclosed, she would have felt guilty. To her, it was important to be honest to someone she cared about so deeply. It just seemed wrong not to tell him.
On the other hand, maybe telling him after such an intimate moment, when they had already developed feelings, caused him to feel lied to and betrayed.
The most sensible thing would have been telling him before any of that happened, but she hadn’t felt prepared. Although there was an evident connection between them, the level of trust wasn’t enough for her to share something so intimate.
At the end, every case scenario seemed to have the same outcome, Pete disappearing from her life.
By mid afternoon, she had called him three times with no answer whatsoever. She wasn’t giving up, not just yet. She needed to fix this. Pete was too important to her to just let it go.
I guess you don’t want to talk to me, but I really need you to read this. Not just because I want you back (which I really, really, really do), but because I need you to understand how special you are. So here goes…
What you said about me being attracted to you because of your disability is true, at least to some degree. I have this attraction, and I can’t explain why, it´s just the way I am and I can’t change it. But that doesn’t mean it’s the main reason I’m attracted to you. It is just a physical attraction like the one everybody else experiences when they see someone they like. And let me tell you this, your disability is not what I find most attractive about you.
First of all, your eyes. They’re beautiful. They express so much and make me feel all sorts of nice things. When I look into your eyes, I feel like I’m in freaking Cancun, just laying on the beach relaxing and enjoying the view.
And you’re lips? Don’t get me started on those. They taste and feel so good. Your kisses are so intense that I can still feel them all over my body.
Your hands, they’re special. I love to feel them on my skin. It makes me want you even more. But you know why? They’re interesting. They tell a story. They remind me of your strength, of all the effort you put in everything you do. And yes. They’re beautiful too.
But more than anything, you make me laugh and you make me think. There’s never a dull moment when you’re around. Even when we disagree, I love our conversations. There’s something in the way you speak that’s so appealing, and I think it is because you’re smart and passionate but you’re still pragmatic when it´s necessary. Intelligence is the most attractive feature in a man and you have it to spare.
I don’t know what you’ve heard about devotees, I hope it’s not too bad. But let me assure you that we’re only human, that we care about others and we fall in love just like anybody else. And I love YOU. The whole you.
Pete read Jessica’s message with a lump in his throat, not knowing what to think about Jessica´s love confession or the fact the she was a devotee. What if he was wrong?
Back when Pete first started college, he had met Josh at the Services for Students with Disabilities. Josh was a paraplegic and he also used a wheelchair full time. Since then, they started hanging out frequently and became good friends.
Josh confided in Pete that he had been dating a girl he had met through an online dating site. A few dates in, the girl confessed she was a devotee. He did not know what it was at the time so she explained to him, that the fact that he was in a wheelchair turned her on, that she liked his atrophied legs and feet, that she loved watching him transfer, and that his spasms gave her a thrill.
Pete could still remember the discomfort he felt when he learned about it. He could not understand how this was possible. Why would someone find his disability attractive? Only a creep would find pleasure in someone else’s misery.
Jessica wasn’t a creep. She was nice, smart, sweet, dorky, beautiful, Jessica. She was perfect. Maybe he was overreacting.
Before going to bed that night, Jessica checked her messages one last time. She had poured her heart out on the words she had written and she hoped that it would make Pete understand the depth or her feelings for him.
No answer. Hours had passed and Pete had not responded. She went to sleep crushed.
On Sunday morning, Jessica stayed in bed again, not really feeling like getting up and start her day. The feeling of defeat had made her sleep restless, hence the tiredness and sadness she now experienced.
A soft knock on the door, diverted her thoughts. “Come in.”
The door opened and Faith’s head snuck through.
“We’re going to the store, wanna come?”
Faith looked at her with concern. “What’s wrong Jess?” She moved to Jessica’s bed and sat. “Is it about the guy you were with at the party? I noticed you disappeared after, you know, all that PDA. And you’ve barely left your room this the weekend.”
“Yeah, it’s about him.” She answered trying to not reveal her mood.
“You want to talk about it?”
“Not really,” Jessica answered apologetically.
How could she tell her friend the reason they had fought. No one knew about Jessica’s strange attraction and she could not find it in her to tell her friends about it. She only had told Pete and that did not go so well.
“Okay. Do you need anything from the store?”
Jessica shook her head. “Thanks.”
After her roommates left, Jessica got up and checked her phone for what seemed the millionth time. Still nothing from Pete. “Okay Jessica, enough is enough. You did what you could.” She told herself, trying to shake away the sadness.
She took a well-deserved long warm bath and dressed with comfortable shorts and hoodie.
While she was eating a bowl of cheerios, the doorbell rang. She did not think it was odd. After all, there were three college girls living there, many of their friends came by on a regular basis.
She peeked through the peephole to find Pete sitting there looking distressed. Her heart started pounding hard enough to literally jump right out of her chest. At least that’s how it felt.
She quickly ran to the bathroom yelling, “Just a minute.” She checked her appearance in the mirror. Her eyes looked okay, at least they were not as puffy as they had been the last few days. She combed her half damp-half frizzy hair with her fingers, with no success whatsoever in calming the beast. Oh well.
She quickly ran back to the door, cursing her hair and now the sweating caused by her running and inevitable excitement she felt due to Pete’s presence.
Standing in front of the door, she took a deep breath and opened it.
At first glance, Pete was slumped, like he usually was, face down looking at something on his lap.
He quickly lifted his face and looked at her with puppy eyes, those eyes that she loved so much. Those eyes carried so much emotion, a combination of sorrow and hope. He threw his left arm to the back of his chair to help him sit straighter, just like she had seen him do so many times, and said, “I’m sorry.”
She gave him a soft smile but said nothing.
Pete took a wrapped box from his lap and handed it to her smiling nervously. “I brought you something.”
She took the box and opened it as fast as she could, not minding ripping the wrapping paper. Once she saw that it was a blue swimming cap, she started laughing and messing her frizzy hair. “Oh god, I sure need this.”