I AM DEVOTEE by Lesley

With her heart pounding in her chest, she wanted to approach him with what was on her mind, but she was nervous.  She watched Zane in his home office as he worked on his computer, with his headphones on and typing away on the Bluetooth braille keyboard. Thank goodness he couldn’t see the uncertain expression in her eyes. They had been dating for a long while, but how would he accept her revelation to him. To be honest, she had only recently figured out that there was a term for people like her, who found certain non-standard traits attractive. She looked at him, he was gorgeous, tall with such an air of self-confidence. It seemed like things were going well, but she worried. It felt like a dark secret weighing inside her, but at the same time, she knew that she shouldn’t feel so badly about what made him so attractive to her, it was just one of many traits, really. She was lost in her thoughts when Zane suddenly seemed to realize that she was in the doorway.

“Fiona?” he called out

“Yeah,  I’m here.  I just had something on my mind and zoned out for a bit there. Do you want to hang out on the couch and watch something for a bit?”

“Sure, let me just come to a stopping point here and I’ll meet you in a second.” Zane quickly logged out and put everything in its place before heading to meet Fiona on the couch.

“Hey Fiona, you want to have a glass of wine?”

“Sure, good idea!” she responded.

Zane carefully poured the glasses of wine, using his finger to measure the amount. He then placed them on a tray and carried it to the couch where Fiona grabbed both glasses from him. He put the tray on the side table and Fiona passed his glass to him. Fiona let out a nervous sigh.

“Fi, I know that sigh. Something is bothering you, what’s the matter?”

Zane put his glass on the side table. He then searched for Fiona’s hand and upon finding it grasped it with both hands.

Fiona looked down at her hand, she wasn’t sure if his hands on her hand was going to make this easier or harder.

“Zane, I have told you over and over how much I love you and how I love every bit of you. I’ve recently realized something about myself that I hope, won’t change anything about us, but I feel like I have to tell you.”

“Fiona, what is it? I can’t imagine anything that would be something that we couldn’t handle together. We have grown so much together as we have been dating over the last couple years.”

“Oh gosh, Zane, okay, I have been researching a few things and along the way, I have come to realize that I am a devotee.”

“Okay Fi, and this means?”

Fiona took a deep breath and continued “It means that I find men with disabilities attractive.”

“Well,  lucky you, lucky me, it seems that I am a fellow with a disability and we both seem to like each other, what’s the problem?”

Fiona begins to cry in relief. “Oh Zane, I mean, there are so many people out there, who think that there is something wrong with people like me. So, I wasn’t sure what to think or how to feel. I mean, there are some people who seem to think it is okay, but I was so worried that you would think that I was, I don’t know, a horrible person!”

Zane got up, strode across the room to grab a box of tissues. He returned to the couch and offered Fiona a tissue. He kissed her gently and then said, “Fiona, there is nothing wrong with you. Whatever labels you put on yourself or what someone else puts on you does not matter. There is only one label that matters to me and that is the one that I put on you. You are my girlfriend, and I love you. If you want to label yourself as a devotee, then I will be the proud boyfriend of a devotee.”

“Really?” Fiona asked as she wiped the tears away.

“Really.” said Zane as he brushed the hair out of her face.

“I am a devotee, Zane, and I love you,” Fiona said with a smile.

“Well, then,” said Zane, “I am the proud boyfriend of a devotee named Fiona.”

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