They are falling freely now. I can feel them, god I can feel them like I’d never imagined. The slow burn as they land and then trail their way down my arm. She doesn’t know I’m awake. Hasn’t known for the last half hour and as much as it’s killing me to let her cry, I can’t force myself to comfort her. I can’t do it. I won’t do it. I haven’t seen anything but pure adrenaline out of her for days and it drained me. The sheer will she has shown has almost undone me more than once. How could she be so calm? Doesn’t she know what this means? We might never… I might never…
I don’t budge. She needs this, I tell myself as I fight with the part of my brain that can’t stand to see her upset. At first, it was just a sniffle here and there, and then the full on waterworks started. Her hair is draped around her face so softly that it’s almost peaceful looking as I sneak a peek. I can’t see the red splotches that I know are there or the streaks the tears are making before they dive bomb my arm and I’m glad.
Her calm was just a front. That much is evident now. I’m almost glad she doesn’t know I am witnessing this. Finally, it stops after I don’t even know how long and I hear her searching in that giant bag she calls a purse for something, the little sigh she lets escape as she found whatever it is, makes all the hair on my arms stand at attention, her face is so close to me.
I can feel myself drifting off but I don’t want to. I want to sweep that hair off her face and kiss her, right the wrong, comfort her…before I have the chance though just as I’m losing my resolve I feel them again, who knew tears could burn?